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Nobody is an amazing lover from the moment they are born, it’s something that is learned over time through practice, communication and by paying attention to the person you are with.

There are many different aspects to providing pleasure to a woman and in this article I will be discussing just one of those, manual stimulation, or fingering.

The first thing to realize is that every woman is different. Because there is such a wide variety of preferences between women there is a wide variety of ways to ‘handle’ the woman you’re with.

Before you can get to work with your fingers you need to be sure that she’s ready. The brain truly is the largest sex organ and without starting there you’ll have little chance at providing your woman with the pleasure she deserves. So make sure she’s ready, make sure she’s created enough of her own lubricant before you get going or it will be uncomfortable or even painful for her. Just remember to take it easy, slow down, this isn’t a race.

There’s one more thing I would like to bring up before I share a couple great techniques with you. As I already mentioned, all women have different preferences for what they enjoy sexually. Some women can have a full orgasm solely from g-spot stimulation, with no clitoral attention at all. Other women can’t reach orgasm without at least some clitoral stimulation. And as unfortunate as it is, some women can’t reach orgasm at all, no matter the stimulation and time. But to improve her chances make sure you keep the lines of communication open and pay attention to her reaction.

The techniques below aren’t rules written in stone, instead they are guidelines and ideas, change them as necessary to fit her preferences.

1) The Classic
If you’ve ever fingered a woman then you’ve probably used this simple technique. But just because it is standard and easy doesn’t mean it’s not effective, in fact this is one that for most women is guaranteed to get the job done.
After you know she’s properly moist you take your index and middle fingers and work them in a circular motion around the clit. Make sure you let her know to keep you informed on her situation, some women love constant clitoral stimulation until climax but some love a bit more variety. She may want you to use those fingers and go inside her for a while before returning to her clit. Pay attention to her reactions and listen to what she has to say.
Don’t go too fast at first and always keep a good rhythm, breaking rhythm will interrupt her engagement in the moment and possibly prevent her from climaxing. Unless, of course, she wants you to, then by all means, do as she asks.

2) Two is Better Than One
This is a very strong technique but requires a bit more left/right hand coordination than most other techniques. You start by placing yourself between the girls legs while she is lying on her back or leaning back in a chair, you can also sit to one side or the other if that’s more suitable or more comfortable for you.
With one hand you move one or more fingers in a thrusting motion inside her vagina and with your other hand you rub your index and middle fingers in a circular motion around her clitoris. Rhythm is key here so to be able to more easily do this without losing your even tempo you might want to try starting with only one hand or the other and when you’re in the groove slowly add the second hand.
Even though each hand needs to keep its own rhythm, nobody says both hands need to follow the same beat. Make one hand fast and the other slow and mix it up a bit and ask her what she likes the best.

3) The Variety is in the Sex Toys, Such as a Finger Vibrator
We all enjoy some variety, always sticking to the same things will get a bit dull. And to help keep you interested in fingering your partner maybe you should think about trying out some sex toys.
There are many options but keeping to the theme, I will go over two different types. The first type is aptly called a finger, these little guys fit over your fingertip, are made of rubber or silicone and usually have bumps or ticklers on them to up the stimulation level.
A second option is the world famous vibrating bullet. These are very commonly known for women using them to masturbate. But don’t think they can’t be used just as easily to please your partner, and to take it even further you can place the fingers mentioned above over the bullet!

Thoughts to End By

If you want to truly become a better lover you need to think about variety, keeping things new, always trying new things. Practice makes perfect and that holds true, even in the sexual world. Pleasure comes in many variations and there are always more to find and explore. so don’t let yourself get caught in a rut, go out and find to ways to please your lover, it’s what will set you apart from all the other ‘average joes’.

Remember, there are many various sex toys out there such as rabbit vibrators for women and the familiar line of Fleshlights for guys, so try them all, they can add a lot to your sex life.

And don’t forget, some women don’t produce enough lube on their own and may need a little help through some water-based lubricant.